A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
