Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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