Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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