even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
