I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
