Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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