I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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