Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
