I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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