Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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