My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
