her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
