its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize