They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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