Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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