i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
