watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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