O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
