sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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