so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
