So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
