You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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