You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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