i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we made out on top of his cat.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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