i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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