Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
