just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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