i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
