What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
