that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize