Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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