this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
They are going to name an STD after you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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