using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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