Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
