I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
