Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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