It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
