im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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