Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Randomize
