I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
