This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
