4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
