At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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