C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
