Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
