how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Welp...herpes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
