Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
