I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
