i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I've blown a few things in my day
Too much gin, very little bucket
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
