I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
