I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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