There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
