I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
