He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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