You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
