Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
