No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
