Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize