sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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