I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
