WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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