I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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