Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
