You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
