Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
