My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
