it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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